Breathe, America. Breathe, and step back.

After the apparent Trump assassination attempt, we need to prepare for 2025 now

I’ve never cried such complicated tears.

So did millions of Americans after electing our first biracial Black president. But the days after the 2008 election were wildly emotional: so much so that I found myself bawling on I-95 en route to work. That’s because I couldn’t fully celebrate, but I couldn’t fully be furious, either. Some people were preheating a political movement that would cast liberals as a threat to democracy. Others were lamenting the passage of same-sex marriage bans in Florida, California and Arizona. And a lot of us were terrified for what might happen to the President-elect.

People are crazy, we’d say. Y’all know some people are just crazy.

I thought it would be Obama getting shot. So did every Black person I know, for years. The idea that this country would let that man into a presidential mansion built by slaves seemed impossible without someone doing something stupid. That thought is horrible, but not unthinkable.

And now, after what appears to be an assassination attempt against former President Trump, we’re talking again about bringing down the heat and no place for political violence and settling our differences at the ballot box and on and on. Deep down we don’t really believe that our heated politics will voluntarily cool down. Why would we? Especially after the insurrection on January 6th, 2021. What evidence have we seen to suggest that temperance is our temperature?

We are so not ready for 2025.

And no wonder we’re not. Some pundits, politicians and the press have become rich and powerful by turning national politics into a year-round, high-stakes, winner-take-all bloodsport. They’ve convinced us that all four seasons are Election Season, and we take our eyes off it at our own peril. To hear them tell it, Those People could blow up the country while you're not looking. They could let drag queens into the daycare when you're not looking. They could make Vladimir Putin the secretary of defense when you're not looking. Don’t take your eyes off Those People, not for an instant.

Be vigilant… FOR OUR CHILDREN.

We have the right to choose our political allegiances and oppositions, but the nonstop hyper-vigilance… how’s that working for us? It’s mostly worked for the politicians, pundits and press who depend on our engagement for their enrichment. They keep us in suspense, and we keep them in business. We’re great for the economy.

If they practiced what they preached I might feel differently. Congress takes plenty of breaks, some of which last six weeks. The U.S. Supreme Court goes out of session for months at a time. Even the President escapes Washington for Camp David, his personal residence or wherever he wants to be. You know who never seems to get a regularly scheduled break from partisanship?

The American People. Political leaders take all their vacation time. Why don’t we?

It took me forever to admit to myself that staying so tightly wound was more about performing toughness and invulnerability… but no one was watching my play. I was both actor and audience, and it was time to exit stage right.

The theatre kid in me actually sees a way to navigate these political tensions without the well-worn “turn down the heat” nonsense. Because the fact is, heat belongs in politics. That’s the point of it: to channel our passions into a constructive, decisive process that lets us resolve conflicts and get on with life. Lately that “get on with life” part isn’t working, but that doesn’t mean things are beyond saving.

Ever been to a show and were very aware that you were watching a show? Maybe the spotlight operators were plainly visible, or the performers kept referring to the play itself, or you just didn’t like the show and kept looking at your watch. In any case, you felt removed from the production. That feeling is called aesthetic distance. It’s your awareness that you’re watching a performance. Conversely, some shows and movies and books completely engross us: we get invested in the characters, we lose track of time, or we might weep for them as if their losses were ours. In that case, the artwork completely closed the aesthetic distance. It “sucked us in”.

Here’s the thing: if I give you a great performance, your aesthetic distance vanishes… but as a performer, mine remains. I am always aware of what I’m doing so I can say my lines and hit my cues. Imagine you go to a play and can’t return to reality after the cast took a bow. We’d think something was wrong with you, right?

Now, apply that to today’s politics. So many political insiders are well aware of the artifice and manipulation but don’t wear it emotionally the way we do, even though they’re at the heart of it. We on the periphery, however, watching it on TV or reading about it online far away from the action, remain engrossed in it with no escape.

To be clear, all your political passions might be perfectly justifiable. Abortion, Gaza, the economy, education, jobs, climate change, human rights, the future of democracy… these are reasonable reasons to get fired up. Politics allows you to use that fire productively. But letting that fire consume you endlessly… what’s the point?

When President-elect Obama won in 2008, my complicated tears didn’t last long. I feared that a presidential attack could happen, but I doubted it actually would. Being so jacked up on my own adrenaline would stop me from helping others navigate that tough time. For their sake and mine, I chose to end my one-man Obama psychodrama and just get real. Can we all do the same today, in these crazy times?

Yes, We Can.

Every one of us knows someone who inhales this stuff way too often. They’re depending on us to ask, “Hey, when was the last time you went out? I’m going downtown on Wednesday — already bought you a ticket.” And don’t tell me you can’t take your mind off things. We have more distractions than we deserve. When John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, we had far fewer options for mass media. Today in 2024, there’s a 24-hour SpongeBob SquarePants channel on Paramount+.

One warning: do not rely on social media for this. By its very nature it’s inescapably engrossing — the opposite of a distraction. It hooks you with the things you’re most emotionally bound to, based on everything you do with your phone. It even watches what you do on other apps (yes, you agreed to that in the terms of service). And it focuses on content that provokes strong emotions, including anger, fear and FOMO. I don’t trust those apps to benefit me more than they enrich themselves.

I know I’m not ready for 2025. In my current state I wouldn’t survive it. My resilience is too weak, my self-care is too haphazard, and my support network is too sparse. I’m committed to working on all this, but none of it can succeed if I can’t give myself permission to focus inward from time to time. That way I’m not at the mercy of the world or the people in it who make their living keeping me afraid.

This apparent assassination attempt happened at a pivotal time, when we must decide how to engage with these campaigns from here on out. Regardless of how Mr. Trump politicizes this or Pres. Biden responds, national politics have burned me out for long enough. These may feel like dark days, but I suspect a lot of us are tired of being afraid of it all the time. It’s time to use this darkness for our betterment. To rest. To watch a show (with a healthy dose of aesthetic distance). To gaze at the stars.

And one day, to dance until dawn, and greet the sunrise together.