Chauvinism leads men to fear being viewed as weak. I think a better word would be useless. That’s how this political moment has me feeling right now. I can’t help thinking back to the Trump Administration, during which I helped build 1A on NPR. Right now it’s giving me context on why today’s uncertainty is kicking my ass. Because before, I had a powerful platform that gave me a way to be useful during a time of enormous turmoil. The experience was emotionally and spiritually destructive, but I built something that endures.
Grief sounds right. And how can you helm a show when you are feeling so down? I get it. I can relate to the things you said about social media & friendships. And dealing with my F.I.L. who is going blind from glaucoma & has dementia that ebbs & flows from day to day (and who made it abundantly clear that I am responsible for "tearing the family apart" - by marrying his only good son), I feel that weight on my soul too. But what else can we do other than put one foot in front of the other?
I want to inquire more personally into the issues you are having, but in a para-social relationship, I can't. What I can do is tell you that I care & will be here when you feel up to being back "on air".
I feel this. So much. Especially your remarks about families that no longer feel tight knit. I think one thing that makes the reality of our grief even harder is the feeling that it can’t be shared. We (and by “we” I mean the entire country) didn’t have a reckoning after half the population voted for someone who tried to overturn election results; we didn’t have a reckoning after a segment of the population believed Covid didn’t matter and masks were an assault on liberty. We never had reconciliation. It’s like a breakup with no resolution. We just go about our lives as if those scars aren’t there. But they are.
Thanks for sharing this. I suppose that anticipating grief is still being in grief. After feeling that I can weather most anything that comes my way, especially since I've avoided most relationships, I'm finally becoming overwhelmed by the future. I've just survived my 79th birthday, satisfied that I'm not burdening anyone and am content and even pleased with my life's work. I believe I've helped some people, changed others, given pleasure to some, entertained even more. But it's the uncertainty of the future that I grieve; and not really for myself; I'll be ok; but for my fellow travellers on our multiple roads. What I really want to do is to give the entire world a giant 'hug' emoji.,, knowing that by giving a hug, you (I) get it right back.
So, Joshua, having gotten to know you when you first began your 1A tenure (far too short!), I include you in my hug. Love.
Thank you for this post. Grief is a good word for what I’m feeling. And that includes anticipatory grief - the fear of what’s ahead for all of us. Your candor and authenticity are always appreciated. Please continue posting! As a journalist you have a way of expressing what many of us can’t do as well. Your words are needed, regardless of the format
Grief sounds right but please don’t feel useless. You’ve spoken to me, inspired me, motivated me since the day I met you on the first 1A. I’m grateful that I’ve found you again. Plenty useful to me
I am sorry that you are struggling right now. I feel like this sense of uselessness and not mattering is something our country has been intentionally trying to force on us for decades. How else can we rationalize a country where some people have lifetimes worth of money for playing speculative financial games, but the people actually making our food and picking up the trash can’t afford the basics?
I feel like I haven’t had a good nights sleep in six years. I quit a job I mostly liked and was great at due to constantly being devalued and getting fed up with the constant petty office politics of people making a lot more money than me, but apparently with not enough real work to do.
I am so weary of the enshittification of everything in our lives. You need money to live, but at the end of the day it’s hard to find a job that actually provides a positive value to society that pays worth a damn.
It’s easy to feel like there’s no place in this country for people who actually give a shit beyond shallow self interest. But we’re out there, all struggling with this sense that everything is broken and no one else sees it. We just need to find each other and hold on. And on the days when we can muster the energy, keeping fighting to make the world we know is possible. I appreciate and value your voice in this world, in whatever form it takes going forward.
Take a walk. Call a friend. Enjoy a simple pleasure. Reconnect with the part of the world that just is, regardless of what we foolish humans are determined to do.
ONE SHOULD ONLY VIEW THEMSELVES FROM A SIMPLE PREMISE: IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN THE COMMON GOOD FOR MYSELF and MY SMALL INSULAR GROUP or CAN I SOMEHOW REACH
[ WITHIN REASON- SEEK OUT OTHERS WHO MAY SHARE A FEW “CORE VALUES that CAN BE
Grief sounds right. And how can you helm a show when you are feeling so down? I get it. I can relate to the things you said about social media & friendships. And dealing with my F.I.L. who is going blind from glaucoma & has dementia that ebbs & flows from day to day (and who made it abundantly clear that I am responsible for "tearing the family apart" - by marrying his only good son), I feel that weight on my soul too. But what else can we do other than put one foot in front of the other?
I want to inquire more personally into the issues you are having, but in a para-social relationship, I can't. What I can do is tell you that I care & will be here when you feel up to being back "on air".
I feel this. So much. Especially your remarks about families that no longer feel tight knit. I think one thing that makes the reality of our grief even harder is the feeling that it can’t be shared. We (and by “we” I mean the entire country) didn’t have a reckoning after half the population voted for someone who tried to overturn election results; we didn’t have a reckoning after a segment of the population believed Covid didn’t matter and masks were an assault on liberty. We never had reconciliation. It’s like a breakup with no resolution. We just go about our lives as if those scars aren’t there. But they are.
Thanks for sharing this. I suppose that anticipating grief is still being in grief. After feeling that I can weather most anything that comes my way, especially since I've avoided most relationships, I'm finally becoming overwhelmed by the future. I've just survived my 79th birthday, satisfied that I'm not burdening anyone and am content and even pleased with my life's work. I believe I've helped some people, changed others, given pleasure to some, entertained even more. But it's the uncertainty of the future that I grieve; and not really for myself; I'll be ok; but for my fellow travellers on our multiple roads. What I really want to do is to give the entire world a giant 'hug' emoji.,, knowing that by giving a hug, you (I) get it right back.
So, Joshua, having gotten to know you when you first began your 1A tenure (far too short!), I include you in my hug. Love.
Oh, Joshua, you are in despair. Contribute as you can, but know that you are loved, wanted, and make a difference...even if it doesn't feel like that.
Thank you for this post. Grief is a good word for what I’m feeling. And that includes anticipatory grief - the fear of what’s ahead for all of us. Your candor and authenticity are always appreciated. Please continue posting! As a journalist you have a way of expressing what many of us can’t do as well. Your words are needed, regardless of the format
Grief sounds right but please don’t feel useless. You’ve spoken to me, inspired me, motivated me since the day I met you on the first 1A. I’m grateful that I’ve found you again. Plenty useful to me
I am sorry that you are struggling right now. I feel like this sense of uselessness and not mattering is something our country has been intentionally trying to force on us for decades. How else can we rationalize a country where some people have lifetimes worth of money for playing speculative financial games, but the people actually making our food and picking up the trash can’t afford the basics?
I feel like I haven’t had a good nights sleep in six years. I quit a job I mostly liked and was great at due to constantly being devalued and getting fed up with the constant petty office politics of people making a lot more money than me, but apparently with not enough real work to do.
I am so weary of the enshittification of everything in our lives. You need money to live, but at the end of the day it’s hard to find a job that actually provides a positive value to society that pays worth a damn.
It’s easy to feel like there’s no place in this country for people who actually give a shit beyond shallow self interest. But we’re out there, all struggling with this sense that everything is broken and no one else sees it. We just need to find each other and hold on. And on the days when we can muster the energy, keeping fighting to make the world we know is possible. I appreciate and value your voice in this world, in whatever form it takes going forward.
Take a walk. Call a friend. Enjoy a simple pleasure. Reconnect with the part of the world that just is, regardless of what we foolish humans are determined to do.
ONE SHOULD ONLY VIEW THEMSELVES FROM A SIMPLE PREMISE: IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN THE COMMON GOOD FOR MYSELF and MY SMALL INSULAR GROUP or CAN I SOMEHOW REACH
[ WITHIN REASON- SEEK OUT OTHERS WHO MAY SHARE A FEW “CORE VALUES that CAN BE
DEVELOPED”.
Yes, you are 100% correct. It the big separation of the wheat and shaft.